I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
