I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Randomize
