I never want to see another naked old woman again.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
