Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
