Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
