Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
