If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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