Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
