i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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