For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
