CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
