god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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