If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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