I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
