I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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