no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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