Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
