Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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