Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
