i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
