All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize