how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
