She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
