Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
