why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Couch. On fire.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
