i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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