So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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