Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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