Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
