so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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