Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
