But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think my moral compass just broke
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
