Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
