she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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