break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize