it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
