so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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