Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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