just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
