Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
