The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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