I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
