I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
