Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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