I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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