I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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