He is an equal opportunity slut.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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