this boner is exhausting
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
