She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
