Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
