fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
