Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
