Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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