i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You took a bar mat shot.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
