By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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